humdrumlady

i am in a world of confusion
a world that i feel is just an illusion
how can it be that i have so much
the only catch is: it is off limits, i cannot touch
it is hard to express and find
all these feelings and thoughts running through my mind
i wish this were real
only so i could feel
all the emotions and a certain thought
that i have loved and learned and fought
all the times i said no way
i was wishing for you to take me away
how was i to know all this?
how was i to know all the stuff i have missed?
you are too good to be true
smart, gorgeous, funny, just beautiful- see all this i knew
i just was not sure about your feelings
if you could have anything 
why would you want this one thing?
how come you wanted to be with me
you see
this is where i am so confused
why is it you are so amused?
this is why i am in all this confusion
this is my wonderful world of true illusion!

Currently feeling: curious

can you hear me?

can you feel the anguish of my soul?

can't you see that i'm slowly drowing, melting, dying?

i have given you my all!!!

and now im begging for just a little from you?

please need my plea.......

please save me!!!!!

Currently feeling: anxious

Why is it that all I ever get is mixed emotions?....One minute you are flirting with me,
But yet the next minute I don't exist.....So tell me what is really going on with you....Where 
do you want us to be?...You need to tell me once and for all,

Before I make up your mind and say forget it......Things never seem to change with us.
One minute close as can be, the next,....So distant I don't even know you....So you need to 
make up your mind,....And tell me if you want us together.

Because if not, you need to set my heart free.....And all these mixed emotions can stop,
SO I can finally get my life back on track.

Don't ever walk my way,
don't ever look me in the eye.

Don't ever say you loved me,
don't make me start to cry.

Don't look back,
don't turn around,
just keep on singing your song.

The song of heartache,
the song of cruelty,
where did our love go wrong?

My reflection in the mirror,
staring back at me.

My face looks so sad,
my soul looks so lost,
I need to find the key.

The key to open
the door full of happiness and life.
My pain is so bad
you couldn't slash it with a knife.

The pain will always be there,
the agony will never fade.

Without you I'm lost, 
I wander, 
my mind astray.

I know I'm strong,
I could get through this if I try.

I know you never really loved me 
and now I ask myself why?

Why didn't I see it before?
Was I to blind and stupid to realize
that you didn't see me as a woman?
I was just a tramp in your fierce eyes.
But now I'm trying to pick up the pieces,
to mend the bleeding wound.
Someday I'll learn to love again,
someday very soon...

          Once again I sit alone...My mind is here...My eyes can see...But my heart and soul are gone.
Once again I realize That I need to feel you here...This love is pain,And your voice, so faint,
Wanders softly in my mind... As I sit alone tonight.....Nothing can compare to this loneliness inside.
There is only one who can come in and fill this empty slot.Never make me promises you don't intend
to keep....My heart is all I have to give, So hold it tight...Because it's weak......Tonight I sit here all 
alone......My solitude is long and sad...There's nothing left for me to do...


But let the tears fall here, Tonight...

Currently reading: philippines literature
Currently feeling: bored

Stop Crying... Look @ me...
Face Flushed, my heart beating rapidly......
Stop Yelling... 
Listen to me...My lips are bleeding and I can't keep screaming.....

Stop, please stop...
Help me... 
I need you to see this can't keep happening......
For mind, body and soul can't sustain another beating........

Currently listening to: love drunk
Currently reading: new moon
Currently watching: 2012