Ang Blog ni DodongScarface

Entries for March, 2007

March 2nd, 2007

ambahang LITERA1

In our last LITERA1 session, we finished discussing the basics of reading poetry, then moved on to the study the ambahan, which turned out into a really nice treat.

The ambahan is a local kind of poetry. If Japan's poetry is represented by the haiku, the CCP is pushing for the recognition of the ambahan worldwide as a staple for the Philippines. In a nutshell, ambahans are made of lines that all have 7 syllables and are all monoriming, meaning that if a line has a syllable of 'an' in the end, that means every line must have 'an' as the end syllable.

It was the Mangyans who first wrote these ambahans, and they were able to save their traditional literature because they wrote, or to be more precise, engraved their works onto bamboo branches. With this in mind LITERA1 students would write ambahans of their own, and these would be judged by literature professors, and the lucky winners would have their ambahans sent to Mindoro to have it engraved in bamboo by the Mangyans themselves. Cool huh? Though I would've loved to have one of those, our ambahan writing activity was then and there, much to my chagrin since my creative juices weren't flowing, but I had to write then and there.

And this is my ambahan. My classmates seemed to like it, I just wish mine would be chosen. ^_^

-o0o- 

Generosa Amor
by: CJ Bantayan

O aking kaibigan
Hanggang sa walang hanggan
'Di sapat ang ambahan
Pero may grado naman
Itanim sa isipan
Laging ito'y tandaan
Hindi kita iiwan
Laging susuportahan
'Pag nawala'y sa daan
Ika'y pagsasabihan
Ikaw ay papayungan
Kahit anong paraan
'Wag ka lang maulanan
Sakitin ka pa naman
Kahit ito'y corny man
Ito'y katotohanan
Basta't iyong ingatan
Ang iyong kalusugan
Puso kong iyong tangan
Patuloy na lalaban

-o0o-

To the content of the poem itself, the title would bear it all. Generosa Amor is my whimsical alternation of her name, Gene Loves.  Yes, this is a poem for her, but the funny thing was, I was only writing of how I felt about her all these years. There was no emotional attachment to it, I was simply writing about a time when I would've died for her. But now, that feeling is dead, unless of course that feeling would revive, and it has happened before, though.

Quote for the day: "I feel the maw of despair swallowing me!" ~ Chaos Aspiring Champion

Posted by dscarface at 07:02 PM as a favorite post | 2 skulls

March 5th, 2007

monday blues

I didn't want to attend CRITHIN today, and wasn't going to when I bumped into Emman, a classmate of mine in CRITHIN, dragged me all the way back to our room. I had no choice in the matter then. But while listening to Sir Leoncini's lecture, my mind was wandering off and trying to suppress the rage that had been boiling within me during the entire day. It was a maelstrom of emotions, frankly, so I decided to let it pour out on an ambahan. It turned out writing ambahans was what I needed to wake myself up.

-o0o-

Pinagpalang Pakiramdam
ni: CJ Bantayan

Bakit naman ganito?
Klase'y nakakabato
Pero ang isipan ko
Nakatuon lang sa'yo
Seloso kasi ako
Wala sa lugar, oo
Anong magagawa ko?
Ikaw kasi ang type ko
Oo, masakit, pero
Puso ma'y maararo
Ngingiti parin ako
Makatulong lang ako
Sa mga problema mo

Written during CRITHIN lecture about the truth table, 3/5/07

-o0o-

Those observant enough will know what needs to be known.

Quote for the day: "There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery." ~ Dante Alighieri, La Divina Commedia, Inferno 

Posted by dscarface at 07:12 PM | 1 skulls

March 6th, 2007

Anak ng jueteng

Just a little entry though. I cannot believe the situations I get myself into, I somehow get involved in situations wherein I want to do so much more, yet can do so little. The latest hullabaloo I got myself into was with in the tabulas forums, after weeks of tension, it seems that all will come full circle soon. And Sweet Jesus my chest can't take another beating. Constant headaches and chest pains wracked my entire week. But go on I must, I promised myself that I will see this through, for her. I wanted to leave the forums though, maybe I still can, and come back when the party's going to start. XD

On a side note, why the hell do I get involved in situations wherein I almost always cannot win, or at least get to do what I want to do? A suicidal ex, a maniacal girl making my high school life a living hell, an ex friend also making my life miserable for 5 years. And now, this. Note the common denominator in all of these, it all involves women. XD Maybe I keep getting myself into trouble because sometimes, I care too much, and of course, I get hurt in the process, and since I'm such a good student, I never learn, and somehow I ask for more.

How I feel about her is for real. I will see this through. I will be strong, and rise to the occasion like I always have.

Quote for the day: "Might controls everything, and without strength you cannot protect anything, let alone yourself!" ~ Vergil, Devil May Cry 3

Posted by dscarface at 08:02 AM | 8 skulls

March 11th, 2007

mga ka-imbahan

I don't know who's more imba, Gene or life.

My thoughts exactly last night. 

The Life Factor:
I was playing the Space Marine campaign for Dawn of War: Dark Crusade, and I was giving the Eldar hell in Tyrea. I already captured the 3 critical points necessary for victory and all I needed to do was to hold for 10 minutes. I've done it before, but since it was so late in the evening I decided to call it a night. I was going to save my game when I saw that the menu screen was all fucked up, so I crossed my fingers, and being the lucky bastard that I was I loaded a game rather than save it. Now I have to start all over again. Shit.

The Gene Factor:
Now this time around I can't sleep, so I pester her. If any of you've been following my posts, I was supposed to have cut my ties with her with a message I sent to her e-mail, but according to her, she apparently lost her password ergo unable to read my message. Shit.

So she's still awake, apparently her boyfriend just left, as they went out for their weekly date. Earlier that week she'd told me that they weren't seeing each other, making me bold enough to ask her to watch the Pops Orchestra concert next Saturday with me. She told me that she'd see if her Saturday would be free. I guess I know the answer now. Shit.

Gene + Life = an entity so imba it's ridiculous. But whether Life > Gene or the other way around remains to be seen. The only thing I know is that both are kicking my ass right now. Shit.

Quote for the day: "Dance humie! Dance!" ~ Flash Gitz

Posted by dscarface at 11:27 AM | 2 skulls

March 16th, 2007

fingers crossed

I invited Gene to watch the Imagine concert of the DLSU Pops Orchestra, she said she couldn't come, because there was a lecture for their philosophy class @ DLSU, one which I happened to be attending. Chryselle said that there are no more excuses for us NOT to meet.

But if there's one thing I've learned with dealing with her, it's that I should expect nothing, lest I get my ass kicked again.

Well, here's to hoping.

Quote for the day: "Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment" ~ Space Marine Librarian 

Posted by dscarface at 08:34 AM | 2 skulls

March 26th, 2007

random shit

My goodness, so many things have happened the past few days it's getting hard to keep up. So here's some things that have made my days special or infamous.

-o0o-

We were required to watch the DLSU Pops Orchestra's concert entitled, 'Imagine' last Saturday. For one I was quite excited, because it would be my first time to watch a real orchestra in action, and add that the orchestra had a band in there, so it was quite similar to Metallica's S&M concert, where the band was backed up by the San Francisco Orchestra, so I had somewhat high expectations.

-----

To any of you who've been following my blog entries, I invited Gene to watch the concert with me. And an interesting turn of events ensue.

She declined my offer to watch the concert with me because she was going to attend a philosophy lecture at DLSU-M, a lecture that I was going to attend. Chryselle said that there were no more excuses for us NOT to meet.

Au contraire, her a-million-and-one-bag-of-excuses come to her rescue.

But did it? I learned that it may have a million and one excuses, not all of them are foolproof.

She declined my offer to watch the concert because of the lecture. This time around she decided not to attend the lecture because she felt lazy, and besides, she wouldn't fail if she didn't attend.

i see what you did there

fail bus

-----

Back to the concert. All in all, it was made of win, barely. Much of the time I was in awe of them, but of course I had a few gripes.

Some of the vocal performances were really good, add the orchestra in the background and it was just simply awesome. But there were vocal performances that were just horrendous. The 'Elevation' number being the 'best' example. They were doing nothing but shouting on stage. I was waiting for the bouncers to get on stage and get those ravaging fans off stage.

But all in all I enjoyed the night. Too bad it just wasn't as epic as I'd hoped.

-o0o-

I only heard about Tito Boboy Bagayaua's condition a short time after the new year. He had an attack in the church and resulted in kidney failure, and now he needs dialysis twice a week, for maybe the rest of his life. With this Tchr. Boots invited us to join the benefit concert for Tito Boboy, entitled 'Parokya ni Boboy'. And the catch was it was to be kept a secret from him.

I knew I couldn't refuse this time around, especially after when Tchr. Boots called my cellphone, and told me that my voice had somewhat become a tenor. That my pride could not take, and I joined the benefit concert with my old chorale, SIGLO.

I had a tough time learning the songs for the concert, mainly because I had so many things to take care of that week in school. But when Friday came around for the general rehearsal, so many memories came flooding back. With that I met the current generation of SIGLO members. I got along with them quite well, I must say.

I had an eye for one of them, her name was Korina. She first caught my eye because she seemed somewhat more mature than the others. I also found out that she's considering going to La Salle to take up engineering, the brave girl. And also, she reminded me of Gene. XD But when I asked more about her, of course, being the lucky bastard that I was, they told me that she already had a boyfriend. Just my fucking luck.

Well on to business, there I learned the steps needed for our performances, the steps for 'Musikong Bumbong' weren't that hard because I already performed them with the then SIGLO in our very first concert.

With this I noticed something very startling...

I noticed that the current generation of the SIGLO chorale wasn't that... eager about the performance. There was almost no sense of urgency in our chorale. Walang kalatoy-latoy, walang kaemo-emote, ika nga. Why back in my day, in the weeks leading up to our concerts, we would be squeezed dry by Tchr. Boots, Kuya Ian, and Tito Boboy. As a matter of fact Kuya Ian has made such an impact on me that I always stand in attention whenever he's around barking orders for the choreography, even if it's not us he's handling. You do not, I REPEAT YOU DO NOT want to get him pissed.

Then here's our chorale giving a half-hearted performance, bullshit. I told Jed, one of the pioneer powerhouse basses with me and Emman, how I felt that I would rather have the old crew back, even if I have to tango with Jillian again, than this current line-up, no offense intended of course. He then explains to me that some of the current SIGLO members did not join because they loved singing, but because of the points being a member would give in the computation for honors. With that I just shook my head.

I had to let it go, for now. I agreed to join this concert because I wanted to thank Tito Boboy for the help he'd given us in our 2 concerts.

korosantinig practice
Korosantinig Chorale from La Concordia College practicing 'Ewan'


T. Boots w/ Kuya Ian guiding the kids in their Disney Medly number

anak practice
Pamilya Dugtong Choir practicing 'Anak'. Even then it gave me the shivers.

The hours leading up to the performance were fast paced. I even missed a practice in the morning since I overslept. I was woken up by my cellphone, Sir Weng called me and asked me where I was, and learning that there was a practice snapped me out of my stupor and rushed to the Philam Life Center. Thank God for Tas Trans. Then I helped Tope with buying snacks and water for the chorale, we almost didn't make it to the dry run since we had so many to lug around. XD

aaaaaaah.. napagod na.. XD
The day taking its toll on our young singers. Actually nag-pose lang sila ng ganyan. XD

siglo girls
Some of our SIGLO sopranos. Korina is the 2nd one to the left in the background. Actually I had a picture of her, and other pictures of the epicness of the concert but I was stupid enough to delete them.

Ah, the moment of truth. The concert in itself was made of epic win and awesome! while waiting for our turn we were singing along with the current performers in songs that we knew, and that again made the memories flood back.

And then it was our turn. As with any public performance that I do, whether be it an oratorical performance or with the chorale, I lose myself into a zone where no one can reach me. Where the only thing on my mind is the objective at hand. The audience fades away, the sounds and whispers of the people stop. I can only see Tchr. Boots, and I can only hear the voices of my choralemates. I had so many fuck ups during our turn, largely because I did not master the songs, especially 'Isang Dugo, Isang Lahi at Musika.' To account for this I gave everything I had in our steps. In 'Musikong Bumbong' there is a part where the basses have to make like chickens and make a full-turn while shaking their asses. There I shook my ass like there was no tomorrow, much to the delight of Sir Weng. XD And when it was all over, I could only breath a sigh of relief.

The performances of the other chorales were also really great. A staple I think in Bagayaua concerts is that there is humor in at least some of the songs. The Letran chorale sang 'Ilong', that really amused the crowd, and of course one of my personal favorites, 'Mas Mahal na Kita Ngayon', originally by Michael V, was sung by the Pamilya Dugtong Chorale, and of course I couldn't help but sing along.

But the performance of the night in my view is 'Anak' sung by the Pamilya Dugtong Choir. Tito Boboy himself conducted and only brought more intensity and passion to the Freddie Aguilar original. It was the most powerful performance of the night bar none. The load was on the tenor and sopranos with notes high enough to make you cringe in happiness. Jed even told me about a competition they had joined earlier in the year, a competitor also sung that song, the only difference being, the PDC sung in E, while their competitor sung in F#. I was like 'WTF???' The night was capped off by all the choirs performing 'Paraiso' and 'I Write the Songs.' As a matter of fact I am still suffering from LSS because of Paraiso.

The concert is something I will definitely not forget anytime soon and will cherish forever.

Quote of the day: "Fear ensures loyalty!" ~ Imperial Commissar

Posted by dscarface at 10:50 AM | 3 skulls

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