Ang Blog ni DodongScarface

Entries for January, 2007

January 5th, 2007

to let go

My mind has been constantly racked if my decision to cut ties with you was the right one. I deserve better, even if it's not what I want. I stand by my decision to kill our 'friendship'. I was clinging on to false hopes, and someone like you, who has everything, can never understand the plight of someone who has nothing.

 

Leaving you is the last thing I want to do
But the years are starting to show
And the passage of time leaves me wounded and weak
I have lost the will to carry on 'till the 'morrow
Even though my heart demands for more suffering

Your smile is like cheap anaesthetic
I cannot stay angry for long
When I stare deep into those eyes
It will numb the pain
But soon comes a swift and painful reprise

I fought the battle, I have kept the faith
With unwavering love and loyalty, I believed
That one day I may win that which I hold dear
Alas, faith corrupted, precious sentiments thrown away
Again I meet my Waterloo

I held on for as long as I could
And holding on for as long as I have
I am no longer angry at you
I have lost all anger, all joy, all feeling
For I am tired of such
Tired, exhausted, defeated, I surrender

Now excuse me while I try to forget you move on. I can never forget you. I will remember you everytime I eat my favorite Cookies N Cream ice cream. I thought of a cheesy line but I decided not to put it in here.

Quote for the day: "Those who are faithless know the pleasures of love; it is the faithful who know love's tragedies." ~ Oscar Wilde 

P.S. - I'm beginning to hate proofreading. XD

Posted by dscarface at 06:58 PM | for khorne

January 10th, 2007

The Tambutso Song!!!

For rocketeers, n00b cannoneers, and smoke belchers everywhere.
To the tune of DI NA NATUTO of the APO Hiking Society

I present to you:

 

THE TAMBUTSO SONG

Anjan ka nanaman
Tinutukso-tukso ang aking gatilyo
Ilang ulit na bang, iniiwasan ang aking tambutso

Sulayap ng 'yong ulo
Aking nadarama kahit malayo
Nahihirapan na, lalapit-lapit pa, 'di na natuto

Isang galaw mo lang
Ako'y napapaano
Kainin mong minsan
At muling lilipad sa'yo
At walang kalaban-laban
Ang tambutso ko'y tanging iyo lamang

O heto nanaman
Laging nananabik ang aking tambutso
Muling bumabalik, sa iyong mga halik, 'di na natuto

Isang pakita lang
At ako'y napapaano
Kainin mong minsan
At muling lilipad sa'yo
At walang kalaban-laban
At tambutso ko'y tanging iyo lamang (kahit lima ang aking bala lamang)
Ang tambutso ko'y tanging iyo lamang

Di na natuto
(Bumabalik, ba't ang kulit?)
Di na natuto
(Anjan ka nanaman, tinutukso-tukso, dagdag sa score ko)
Di na natuto
(O heto nanaman, o heto nanaman, di ka na natuto)
Di na natuto...

Quote for the day: "Diplomacy is tricky, you convince your counterpart that the road to hell is the road to heaven." ~ Sir Dan Leoncini, CRITHIN first day

Posted by dscarface at 08:22 PM | for khorne

January 15th, 2007

my first real encounter with death

Another rehash from my old Friendster blog. I want to bring my good posts over here, and without further ado for your viewing pleasure...

 

 

 

-o0o- 

December 23, 2005, my world would never be the same.

This Christmas we decided to pay a visit to some of our relatives in Bulacan. Having no transportation of our own, we had to commute from Las Piñas to Bulacan. Don't ask, It was hell. It's not that I'm not used to commuting such a far distance, but the heat and dust was a pain and the traffic? <bangs head on keyboard>

We were on our way home, and we were in a jeep going to Sta. Cruz, we were supposed to take a shortcut because the main road was becoming congested, and guess what on our 'shortcut'? Traffic so damn still you could beat our jeep to its destination by crawling. WIth this in mind we decided to just walk the rest of the way because Sta. Cruz was just about 2 intersections away.

My sister was trying to keep me in her arm, saying that it's not safe and we should stay in groups. But I kept shrugging her off, thinking to myself that no one in the right mind would even try.

Very comforting, Einstein, but it would seem that that night there would be two jackasses who would do just that.

Just past the first intersection, was a dimly lit street. I kept myself at the back of the pack, just in case. Halfway into the street, 'just in case' became the case indeed.

As I continued to walk down that street, I felt a weak tug at the back of shirt, and finally, the magic words..."WAG KANG PAPALAG."

It was the fastest and most terrifying, and yet the most exhilarting, 60 seconds of my life.

My heart started beating faster, and i pretended not to hear, and he said again, "wag kang papalag", this time I would have none of it. I suddenly turned to face him, he obviously was startled, but what I saw in his hand startled me even more. I ain't really sure what that was, but it was something shiny and silver.

My intial thought that it was a gun, and I thought to myself that then and there I was going to die. But I will go down in a blaze of glory, I will go down fighting. In the struggle that ensued, I tried to get that gun out of his hand, and try to incapacitate him. But before I could get the gun, he shouted, "YUNG BARIL!", and threw the gun to God knows where. That was the time I realized that the bastard had an accomplice. But since bastard #1 was such a sniper, the gun just made a loud clang, hitting an idle jeep because of the traffic. And guess what? Bastard #2 bolted like a cat, running into the curve, leaving the poor bastard #1 behind.

By this time my aunt had heard the struggle and was helping me restrain bastard #1, it was then I was smelling fresh meat, and performed a submission move called "tazzmission", it's basically a choke hold. With all my rage and might I tried to choke the living hell out of him, but my aunt told me to let go, and foolishly enough I did, and bastard #1 ran, picking up the gun and following the path that bastard #2 took. I tried to give chase, but my other aunt stopped me, saying that he might come back, and this time, I thought that he would not hesitate to pull the trigger.

Hesitate. Why did he? It was clear that when I turned I was a dead man. In a split second he could've pulled the trigger. But he didn't. Anytime during our struggle, which for me lasted a lifetime, he could've pulled the trigger, but still he didn't.

Was he a n00b? Not used to having people fight back? Especially having a 6ft baboon pounce on you? Or was he scared that the people idling in their vehicles might realize what was happening and come and help? Or maybe the gun was fake? But damn that was one heavy, fake gun, that clang on the jeep was really loud, if it was real I guess it was a revolver. Or maybe his gun jammed?

Either way I was shaking in rage and excitement at what happened and explained the events that occurred to my family whilst walking the rest of the way. We didn't stick around to see what the bystanders' reactions were, fearing that the bastards might come back.

I got home relatively unscathed except for a scratch from the struggle. In every way I counted myself lucky and blessed. I was supposed to be dead, or dying, from being shot and bleeding to death. Looks like it's not yet my time. Somebody really loves me Up there. And I thank Him for that. But I am traumatized, only up to the point where when I'm alone at night going home from school, I'm always tense and ready to rumble. But if it happens to me again, I will do exactly what I did that fateful night, fight the good fight.

As they say, Good always triumphs over Evil, if and only if Good fights.

 
Quote for the day: "To me, my brothers!" ~ Space Marine Veteran Sergeant

Posted by dscarface at 08:33 PM | for khorne

January 19th, 2007

nothings

Hmmm... It has been quite a while since I've last entered something just for the sake of entering, which is good. The last few months have been such the rollercoaster ride my last few posts just ooze with emo shit.

-o0o- 

Sweet Jesus I finally installed my radio blog. After weeks trying to figure out how to put music on my blog I finally put some in... somehow. First off I got my radio blog thanks to Mr. roy over at the tabulas forums when he gave away free patron accounts. [face_smug]  I would like to have it on autostart though, I put in autostart="1" but it doesn't seem to work.

-o0o- 

I was once on teh intarwebs searching for information about Wolfgang's 2000 concert 'Acoustica' when I searched on good 'ol Google. But lo and behold! ZOMGWTFBBQ MEGATONZ!!! I've been Googled!

-o0o- 

Last December, something happened to me that capped the lid off, that broke my last nerve,  drew my last straw. I related what happened in one of my previous entries. Then I decided to end it all and cut all ties with one of my friends. I loved her and as I said in another one of my previous posts I was clinging on to false hopes. Though it was hard as hell I e-mailed my Mi Ultimo Adios to her, and prompted her to read it. After pestering me for the next few weeks, she's finally gone quiet.

Good riddance, goodbye Gene. Finally I can say, with my head held high, I am free. *cue Wolfgang's No Falter*

-o0o- 

Classes began around 3 weeks ago, and I fvcking hate my schedule, especially during Tuesdays and Thursdays, where the legendary 5-hour break became a thing of the past. I no longer have time to play at Netopia as much as I did the past two terms, resulting in me missing the intense Day of Defeat battles. Dawn of War: Dark Crusade has also taken over my life, so this new schedule sucks even more.

But somehow there are a few saving points in this new CLA life. I have this classmate who, somehow looks like someone I courted in high school. She falls EXACTLY under my preferences. Whenever I see her eyes, whenever I see her smile (and she has smiled at me twice, but my INTPHIL education tells me to look through that, God I love INTPHIL) I just go blank. I don't even want to look in her direction anymore, because I would just melt if we met eyes.

-o0o- 

Aaaaaaaaah, I guess this would be all for now.

Quote for the day: "Hope is the first step on the road to disappointment." ~ Imperium thought for the day

Posted by dscarface at 07:15 PM | for khorne

January 21st, 2007

the process

I was cleaning up my e-mail from all the clutter and the messages I no longer needed when I ended up in the last page of my e-mail and I stumbled upon it. 4 e-mail messages coming from you. The earliest dating back to 2002, and the latest from 2003.

'i miss you so much... '
'luv u po best'

Sweet Jesus, now I remember that I saved those messages from you, back when you migrated to Japan. To remind me of you, and to constantly fool myself that you need me. They may as well be the last relics of days long past, and I will not allow myself to be swallowed by memories that only I cherished. The very fact that I'm still writing about you means that I have yet to move on. But it's a start, it no longer hurts as much when I saw them, but a slight sting is still there, screaming at me, 'WHERE DID I GO WRONG????'

How does one move on anyway? Is it even possible? Is there a sure process written like an instruction manual for an electric appliance? Too bad there isn't, because I'd love to read one of those. There is nothing I can do but take it one day at a time, and of course, to let you go and admit that I don't deserve you and you don't derserve me and that it is just how life is.

Quote for the day : "The giver, not the receipient, should be grateful." ~ Ma'am Laureen Velasco

Posted by dscarface at 12:15 PM | for khorne

January 23rd, 2007

win + awesome = IT'S OVER 9000!!!

The past few days have been made of win and awesome. This term is somewhat turning out alright, but it would've been made complete if my schedule didn't suck as much. It's been resulting in skipping classes to spend more time in Netopia, but of course you all know me, failing is never an option. Again here are some tidbits for the past few days.

-o0o-

I was at school last Saturday, our CRITHIN professor, Sir Dante Leoncini, invited us to attend a lecture for +10 points. Of course being the opportunistic bastards the students are we so gladly obliged, add the fact that we weren't required to submit a reaction paper.

But this was a little bit more for me, since the lecturer was *drum roll please* Ms. Laureen Velasco!! She was my INTPHIL professor last term and she was just made of win and awesome, though I almost failed her. In the end I got a decent 2.0 from a last minute effort to pull up my grades. But I assure you, she may be as well one of, if not, the coolest professors De La Salle University has ever had.  

But first, of course I went to school early so I can play DoW:DC at Netopia before I went to the lecture, I was still finishing the campaign with my primary race, Chaos. I eliminated the Space Marines from the game, and hell it was easier than I thought. Their lack of a solid detector (they only threw Skull Probes at me, if it were Librarians there would've been problems) gave way to somewhat an easy victory. It only took 3 cloaked Chaos Marine Squads to cripple their forces, though it was disappointing there was no Land Raider. When I eliminated the Imperial Guard earlier at least I fought against one Baneblade. Ha, the False Emperor's dogs again prove worthless against the forces of Chaos. For the dark gods!

 campaign
My Dawn of War: Dark Crusade campaign after eliminating the Imperial Guard and the Space Marines. The territories outlined in violet are mine.

Of course I have progressed in my Dark Crusade and I will tell you more after I've taken a picture of my latest progress, including my conquest of the Tau and Orks.

It was all good when I learned that I wasn't going to the lecture alone. Accompanying me were Migs and Erich, with the latter also being a former student of Ma'am Laureen. Me and Erich almost didn't get to the lecture on time, seeing that playing DoW can make you lose track of time. Long lines greeted us but we soon got inside. There were no more seats and we were forced to sit in the VERY FRONT of the room. Right smack in front of the podium where Ma'am Laureen would have her lecture. 

sir dante
Sir Dante Leoncini with the introductions

To my pleasant surprise, it was Sir Dante who made the introduction for the lecture. Soon Ma'am Laureen took to the stage and it was nothing short of spectacular. Vintage Laureen Velasco. She had not missed a beat, it was as if she was still lecturing in our INTPHIL class. But of course she had to hold back some of her sentiments, espcially concerning God. Me and Erich were looking at each other saying 'Here it comes' but then she backed off.

She was lecturing about Zen and the acquired self, and she went on with what she has always been telling her students, that names are not who we are. That conformity is for losers. That a real man can say NO.

maam laureen
Ma'am Laureen and the acquired self

You can tell who the frosh were in the lecture room, they were the ones who were laughing their hearts out at Ma'am Laureen's usual antics. I dare them to enroll in her class and let's see if they will be laughing all the way through. I know that I know what she was trying to say in her lectures. I hope that the others have too. But it's their loss if they didn't, and it's a BIG one.

-o0o-

This morning when I was about to go inside Microsmith1 I noticed something pasted on the door. It was an advertisement for picture sizes and printing. I looked closer and... ZOMG MEGATONZ!!!

ANDAMI NIYONG ALAM
Da Microsmith kuyas. From left to right: Kuya Alex, Kuya Gani, Kuya Jovs, and Kuya Jaime. Kung si Batang andiyan papalaminate ko yan.

ANDAMI NYONG ALAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!! *bangs head on keyboard*

-o0o-

Quote for the day: "Despair! For I am the end of days!" ~ Daemon Prince 

Posted by dscarface at 06:00 PM | 4 skulls

site powered by tabulas | Back to Top - Home - Gallery - Friends - Friends Of - Favorites - Content - Archives - Links