Currently feeling: dodongy

dscarface

As I steal time from my early work hours I remember a special occasion today. In a nutshell, exactly one year ago someone special to me gave me the oppotunity to be something more & made me a more intricate part of her life. Exactly one year ago, Andy said that sweet 'yes' to me.

And it's been an awesome year. It hasn't been all a bed of roses between us but I wouldn't have had it any other way. We've survived controversy that would've crushed lesser beings and the worst storm the country's experienced in decades and we just laughed it all off in the end.

And it's just been one year.

And I can't wait for the next, and the next, and the next. You get the drift.

In retrospect we can count ourselves lucky that we are where we are now. If we were together any sooner we would've been doomed to fail. She was having serious problems while I was immature. We grew and trusted each other just enough to enter the relationship and as such we continue to grow. Our stability is proof of that.

 -o0o-

I count myself as a very lucky man. I have, hmmm, a 'unique' way of thinking, not mainstream to say the least. It'd take a very special kind of woman to accept me and my quirks. Andy is just that. I'm not really attractive to women so to have someone hot and smart like her just blows my mind.

However painful, our past helped shape us to be the person we are now. Sometimes I can't believe how good the two of us mesh together. Through Andy's turbulent past and my own tribulations here we stand, believing this could work and acting on it with every day that passes.

-o0o-

Through some twist of fate our anniversary coincides with the birthday of someone from my own past. So to honor those who shaped me to what I am today, here is a sort of tribute.

One taught me the meaning of patience and forgiveness.

Another taught me what it really means to let go and the beauty music can bring into your life.

Andy taught me the true meaning of happiness and contentment. And for that, I wouldn't have any other woman in the world.

Quote for the day: "Life has taught us that love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

P.S. - I'm quite sorry if this entry wasn't really up to par. My effing browser crashed as I was finishing and now the moment has slipped from me. This is what I remember best of the original post.

Currently feeling: work work

dscarface

Through all of the worry of the past two days it seemed like an enormous weight was lifted off my shoulders when I learned that they were just fine. Hell, it's an understatement. My assumptions of her and her brother turned out to be true. She DID have her wits about her and salvaged supplies to last them days while her brother, engineering wiz that he is, created a make-shift cellphone charger which allowed them to make contact outside of the calamity zone.

Indeed compared to others who were in the same boat as them, their quick thinking and alertness made sure they were in the luxury suites, if you will, of that boat.

Now that just blows my mind, so effing awesome.

Quote for the day: "cheap shot!-HEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMO-kidney shot!-HEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOHEMOMHEOM" ~ random Sub-specced Rogue

Currently feeling: woot

dscarface

Over the past few days the country experienced what may well be the Philippine equivalent to Katrina in typhoon Ondoy. Facing logistical nightmares, relief efforts run around the clock but it never seems to be fast enough for those missing loved ones who are starving to know what has happened to them and if anything is being done in the first place.

I am one of those because my better half, my girlfriend, Andy, is among those trapped in the flooded lands with resources depleting rapidly.

-o0o-

Nobody was prepared for what Ondoy was going to bring and took all of us offguard. I passed it off for another storm while helping in the dirty kitchen that was getting flooded. It was unusual, but it was something which I did not attribute to the strength of the storm.

That Saturday she texted me that their first floor was being flooded. We were being nonchalant and she told me that they had transferred the appliances upstairs. I told her to save her cellphone battery as their power had gone out, but I was expecting to be in contact with her that evening, with everything alright and the storm more or less done.

I was wrong.

I couldn't contact her later that afternoon as she had no signal. Then later that night I lost my signal and lasted the entire evening. When I did get some signal back on Sunday morning, I was expecting her messages to come flooding. They didn't come. She still had no signal. I was starting to get worried.

Then I turned on the news.

 Metro Manila had become a swamp. Muddy waters the height of two full grown men forcing families to upper floors or roofs. Cars stacked like UNO blocks scattered on major highways and village streets alike, swept by the torrent of floodwater like toys. A humanitarian crisis waiting to get worse.

Then the reports started pouring in. Marikina and Rizal are hard-hit. I was hoping that the early lack of reports on Pasig would mean she's safe. Then my worst fear was confirmed: Countryside, De Castro, Rosario, and Marietta Romeo, her village, are buried under six feet of water. I sincerely hope the metaphor stays strictly that way. Pasig is hard-hit as well.

I finally get to contact her around seven in the evening. Apparently she's trapped with her brother, cousin and aunt on the second floor of their house, their ground floor completely submerged along with the entire village. She tells me if worse comes to worse, that I don't forget that she loves me. I tell her back that I love her and to not lose hope. We rarely say it as we prefer actions to words, but the gravity of the situation pushes us to do so. And with the rarity we say it, it makes it all the more sweeter... and bitter.

-o0o-

I feel helpless. As do thousands of other people who want to swoop in and save their loved ones in a snap. I dare not call her on fear of emptying what limited battery life she has left. But I try and lift her spirits with messages at twelve hour intervals, quotes from the greats, that convey hope and determination in the face of despair. I also maintain constant vigil over the news portals for ways to contact people who HAVE the capability and resources to save her and her companions.

But this doesn't soothe me. Nothing short of a full rescue mission led by me to save her would suffice. But I must learn to accept the things I cannot change, and to do what I can do from here.

Also, even though it pains me, I do not have the main responsibility of protecting her. Her family has that, so I wonder what they are doing to get them out of there. I have heard stories of families going on their own rescue missions to get loved ones and succeeding. I wonder if they are thinking of taking that course. I cannot exactly contact them as me and Andy are supposed to be a secret from them.

-o0o-

Andy is tough as nails and I believe that they will be able to tough this out. She's the consummate survivor. I'm banking on her having her wits about her as the floodwaters were rising to get supplies, food, and water to the second floor before it was too late. She also has her brother with her, so I'm hoping his engineering skills will come in handy. I'm no Bear Grylls, but I've also sent some survival tips, most important of which is the absolute necessity of keeping fluids inside the body, which means drinking urine if necessary.

She's been trapped inside her house for three days now. If they can't be saved within the next 48 hours things will start to become even more desperate than it is now as supplies and morale diminish. The silver lining is that with minimal rains over the last two days the flood will slowly start to recede, even if at least inch by muddy inch, to at least allowable levels and let them leave the house and get to safety. The Ever Gotesco HQ set up by the National Disaster Coordinating Council is also a ray of hope, as I've known Andy to walk from her house to Ever Gotesco, so help must be near. Also I'm banking on the constant cries of help from other distraught relatives to turn attention to their area, as it's a big area to cover.

-o0o-

I'm afraid. Through my vigil of the news portals I fear of the report of bodies being recovered from her village. I fear for her life. We're both pragmatic, which allows us to mesh so well, and I know that I must prepare myself for the worst.

Many of my blog entries have been concerned with musings, thoughts, and reflections of the past. As I write now, every time I remember that Andy is STILL in mortal danger, and that I can do little about it, makes me gnash my teeth at my weakness. The thought of losing my better half, my significant other, my best friend, brings me terror unheard of. I have feared for her life only one other time, which turned out to be a misunderstanding, but made me cry a good cry, but not now.

I believe that we'll be able to laugh at all of this over steaming hot plates of Jollibee's burger steak meal, which we both love. I believe we'll be able to discuss our reflections of this event as another one of our late night talks. I believe I will see her again, alive, well and lovely as always.

I am afraid, but I believe.

Quote for the day: "Despair is the price one pays for setting oneself an impossible aim." ~ Graham Greene

Currently feeling: aggravated

dscarface

After hearing Megadeth's newest album "Endgame" I just had to listen again to the old stuff they've done. To that end I got their entire Discography from 1985 to present. I knew I did the right thing when I started listening to old classics that brought back good memories.

I first got a good taste of Megadeth back in high school. My friend was kind enough to burn a CD for me that contained some of their most famous songs like "Symphony of Destruction" and "Tornado of Souls". I liked the songs, but unfortunately at the time I was ignorant and was partial to Metallica because of their feud at the time, thereby effectively limiting my Megadeth collection to the CD my friend gave me. But even if that was the case I greatly enjoyed these handful of songs and whenever I listen to these it brings me back to my high school while being reminded of what I felt when I listened to these songs.

A good example is one of, I think, most beautifully crafted songs of all time, A Tout Le Monde. It basically speaks of suicide, but the thing is it's such a peaceful song. It is sad yet not depressing. What I love most about the song is the chorus, which is in French, hence the title. Somehow the message of the song is magnified because of this and makes it even better.

Another song that takes me back is Trust. Well, maybe it's because I was rarely NOT heartbroken in high school and the song is kinda related to it, as related by my favorite line in the song, "Time and again she repeats 'let's be friends' // I smile and say 'yes', another truth bends, I must confess".

But the most emotionally affecting Megadeth song that I've encountered so far was Tears In A Vial. Maybe because it quite fits with She-Who-Has-Been-Mentioned-One-Too-Many-Times. Basically when I feel like hating her I listen to this. XD I especially liked the last part, which really hit the bullseye.

A few years ago I did not listen that much to Megadeth on principle, just because of their feud with Metallica. It shows how stupid I was then, all in my continuing journey to expand my musical horizons.

Quote for the day: "I saved my tears for you in a vial, from every wicked thing that you did, that you said." ~ Megadeth - Tears In A Vial

Currently feeling: stinki